screwed time clock

i should be sleeping but i'm pretty much awake. this rotating shift is killer.

in any case i'm not being productive. i need to plan and book things for my trip to boston. i also have tons of reading and homework i could do. tomorrow i vow to finish my econ, create some sort of presentation for wednesday, book a ticket, and start stat homework.

i'm also going to the gym - in the morning. then i am cooking some of the amazing veg i got at the farmer's market today.

currently listening to stolen- - never tire of the song. loving the new genius feature of itunes. excited about a possible weekend of visiting from the pitt kids. although that means that i will have to make up with steph. i'm still really annoyed and pretty sure she has no idea. (strange because i made myself hella clear) i want an apology but i can't bring myself to ask for one.

i think i'm still unsure of the whole situation which is hindering any resolution. the only thing i'm really convinced of was that i shouldn't have been left alone. oh well.

Very Tired

It has been quite a long week. This time last week I was working on medic time and it doesn't seem like I've had a chance to sleep since then. (of course I have but not well and not for long enough).

Sat was Dustin's going away party which was not what I expected. I really enjoy him and his family, shame they are headed to CA. Sunday followed with more medic time and a large auto accident in which I managed to make a bloody mess of the ambulance.

Work Monday was hectic - not enough people and way too many major incidents going on. Class Monday night ran over again and was unbearable. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday - all much of the same, work, class, lots of driving back and forth.

Today was the worst though. After working all night I had to stay up till 1pm today. I got in a quick nap and was back at work at 5:30pm. Now I about ready to pass out but I have to teach a CPR class at 8am. This is definitely burning the candle at both ends.

I think it wouldn't have been so bad if the calls tonight weren't all absolutely ridiculous and challenging. I think I got very close to telling a caller to shut up. My conclusion is that citizens in general are hot messes.

Hopefully the CPR class goes smoothly.....

how many times can you turn over the leaf?

regardless of my intentions i never really kept this up. i have a significant amount of down time at work now that i'm on a rotating shift so the idea is to turn over a new leaf and keep the blog updating. it really is to kill to birds with one stone - blog regularly and stay awake through the boring hours of the early morning. perhaps it will even have the benefit of improving my writing. in any case here goes:

the current situation:

living - @home w/ the parents
working - 911 calltaker/police dispatcher trainee
part time - substitute teacher and cpr/first aid instructor
volunteering - still at the rescue squad only now i'm a paramedic
school - grad school working on master of public policy in my 3rd semester


so my idea is really to use this blog as a diary/journal and see how it goes. right now i feel like writing about frustrations at work.

i'm very tired of hearing the everyone does it differently and that's ok. it's empty meaningless rhetoric when every trainer makes negative comments when you don't follow their preferences. they are biased and they rate your work with those biases, i don't care how much rhetoric the supervisors spew. one day i'll be given written instruction to use a certain computer command more and the very next day someone else will give written criticism for using that command too much. it is unbelievably frustrating.

also - your skill level is not directly correlated to the amount of time you've been doing something. i've been singing in the shower for years but i still am completely off key and probably off beat. just let me do my thing i'll let you do yours and i can pretty much guarentee i'll end up doing more work and of a highly quality then you.